choosing my way of living

6th March.

2009-03-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

next monday i'm gonna start attachment.
hoping that things will turn out well.

anyway, wedding dinner this sunday.
looking forward for something to change my luck.

=)

2nd March

2009-03-02T11:32:00.002+08:00

finally finally, i am feeling better. after six days of fever. but still, i have to take tablets for a month for my gastric to control the acid?! that's what the doctor said. anyway, just hope it will be well then or i will have to go for operation.

attachment is starting on 9th march. i will be attached to Singapore Technologies Kinetics Ltd, located one bus stop away from jp. it's 5-days work from 8 to 5.45pm. i am looking forward to getting the allowances. that's probably the most attractive motivation. hope i will be able to learn some things from the company too.

until now, i have yet to enjoy my holidays. =X
i am having vitamins everyday now.
many meals too.
i just want to be stronger.

it is better to stay in the shape and size you are fated to be in than to change and be in pain.
just enjoy and live for now.

24th Feb.

2009-02-24T20:47:00.003+08:00

today marks the end of examination.
this semester had been really really tough; both mentally and physically.
whatever my results turn out to be, i will take it and work harder the next time.

i am actually rather glad that i am going to have attachment first. at least i will get to have a six months break. although work might be as tough or even tougher, i will get to be in a new environment and do something different.

just look at everyday with a different attitude.
maybe things will look better that way ah.
=]

18th Feb.

2009-02-18T22:36:00.002+08:00

got this from xinyi's blog.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
personality test.

this is my results.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

be it true or not. just some guides in life.
no harm knowing more.
if it's meaningful then pay more attention to it.
or else, it's alright.

3 exams coming in no time.
i just hope things will get better, let things go the way i want! =X

17th feb.

2009-02-17T21:34:00.004+08:00

now. everything has changed.

I AM NOT GOING FOR OVERSEAS INTERNSHIP ANYMORE.

hmmm. why the sudden change?

it is due to several reasons.

however, the most important reason is, i will only be getting 500RMB for allowance. but, i need to fork out 700RMB for rental fees, 50RMB for internet and 85RMB for utilities bills and in total sums up to 835RMB. look, i am only earning 500RMB every month but i had to fork out 835RMB. doesn't seem too reasonable for me to go.

secondly, i can't possibly be spending a large sum of money, be it mine or parents' money, and they will still need to worry for me every single day when i am away. i will be too selfish if i go despite that.

and up till now, i have yet to get my subsidy. and what's more, a lecturer had calculated for me and mentioned that i will probably only be getting S$1200 to S$1300, which will only be enough for an air ticket.

the lecturer who is in charge of me for attachment mentioned before that the main purpose of overseas trip is to enrich learning, but money is an issue, ain't it? i can't go against everybody for a trip.

now that i have decided to stay in Singapore, my parents are much much happier and my dad told me it's a burden off his heavy-enough shoulder.

but, as i opt out only now, i am probably left with in-house project for attachment. which means for six months i will be going back to school every day from 9 to 5 or 6 to do project. although it's going to be very very tough for me, but at least my parents are happy with my decision. i will just have to work doubly hard and get over with poly life.

12th feb.

2009-02-12T19:19:00.002+08:00

i am such a weakling.

my tears flow like a tap.
and the problem is i cannot control the tap.
i have been trying to bear with it, to bear with it and to bear with it.
now that i'm already letting go of the incident.
i teared over another incident.
time.
let it heal me well again.
let it bring me to the day i will be back in the arms of my loved ones.
just hoped that i can survive through everything and get home safely.

3 more exams.
please, hold on.

9th feb.

2009-02-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

dad told me today's moon is reported to be the biggest or brightest in 52 years.
we looked a few times but it still looks kind of same.
although dad and mum dunno what's really wrong with me these days, they still cared as much or even more than i have realised in the past. they tried probing a few times, thought i was having a bad quarrel with sb, telling me that couples do argue sometimes... just give in to one another ...
i felt really terrible when i keep the truth from them. but i do not want to make them worry. i think it's time i work certain things out myself instead of relying on them all the time.

i broke down after econs test today. i am totally not up for it. but at least i tried. and thankfully, the test marks the end of the module. now, i am left with 3 exams and 1 test and really really, it's time for a break.

things looked and felt better now that i know i can make it for the trip. but i cannot be sure what holds out in the near future. i just hope things will get better.

one more test tomorrow and i will be able to give myself a really short break.
please, bring me through.

thanks to confidant for being there to listen and straighten things out for me. treasure your health please and take extra care.

although dear haven't been real please with me nagging and grumbling about the same thing all these days, at least he tried to keep me accompanied and make sure i eat, well.

maybe maybe, sometimes i really think too much. but please understand, i cannot help but think. that's all i can do, ain't it? and i tend to think the negative way. why give myself so much hope and fall badly afterwards? i don't do that.

every one, please do not take things for granted. learn to appreciate - your family, your loved ones.

7th feb

2009-02-08T18:06:00.007+08:00

原谅是这个世界上最最高境界的事情。。。
如果没有遗憾过，就学不会坚强。。。
路再不好走，也要努力走下去。。。
过了这段漫长的恶梦后，一定会雨过天晴。

这些都是看电视看来的。
真正学会了多少我不知道。
我只知道我真的累了。

6th feb

2009-02-06T23:33:00.005+08:00

i shall bear the consequences of this incident.
i will take this as a lesson learnt.
i can't let my parents know this.
i can't bear to let them worry and be angry.
they have told and warn me umpteen times, yet i chose to do otherwise.
this is heart-breaking for me for gpa means a lot to me. i need all the marks to make it.
but eventually, i am not given a second chance.
i cry no more. i had to learn to be strong.
this is one of the biggest obstacles in my life so far.
i accept for doing wrong.
i blame no one.
i shall blame no one.
i will force this down my throat.
i promise, i will never let myself get into such situation again.
this will be the last time.

now, i just hope my trip will not be affected.

29th Jan.

2009-01-29T00:01:00.003+08:00

stay happy for the new year!

peeps, let's catch up after the exams.

lucks to everyone having exams soon. =)

20th dec.

2008-12-20T17:25:00.005+08:00

ain't this baby pretty?

life's pretty good these days.
just stay this way and i will be contented. =)

13th Dec

2008-12-13T22:59:00.007+08:00

an old song already. but just got to know it from my aunt recently. the differences for the songs now and past is, music now, tends to be louder and blurred. while songs in the past have softer background and their lyrics are just meaningful la. =)

最浪漫的事

背靠着背坐在地毯上
听听音乐聊聊愿望
你希望我越来越温柔
我希望你放我在心上
你说想送我个浪漫的梦想
谢谢我带你找到天堂
哪怕用一辈子才能完成
只要我讲你就记住不忘
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑
留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
直到我们老的哪儿也去不了
你还依然把我当成手心里的宝
背靠着背坐在地毯上
听听音乐聊聊愿望
你希望我越来越温柔
我希望你放我在心上
你说想送我个浪漫的梦想
谢谢我带你找到天堂
哪怕用一辈子才能完成
只要我讲你就记住不忘
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑
留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
直到我们老的哪儿也去不了
你还依然把我当成手心里的宝
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑
留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
直到我们老的哪儿也去不了
你还依然把我当成手心里的宝

陈朋友就是我手心里的宝。
如果你愿意，就让我们一起慢慢变老吧。 =)

10th dec.

2008-12-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

today, marks the end of common test.
but, i had one of the lousiest paper done today, to the extreme.
most people in my class said the paper was easy, but it was not the case for me.
i dunno how to find the calculations, for goodness sake.
what i was taught came out, but in a different term and different way.
how in the heaven will i know how to look at those terms?
i tried so hard to memorise theories which was mentioned to come out, but so much calculations came out eventually.

and what else?
there are 6 absentees from the class today. only 14 in a class and 6 are missing.
and now, calling and asking for the question paper.
what's the point? all of us are going through the same thing.
why skipped and ask for the paper now? for more time to study? you're despised for that.
you can jolly well sit for the re-test and try it yourself.
since you have plenty of time now to study and your re-test is still capped at 100 marks.

i am so angry.
not only because i can't do.
think about it, if you are in my shoes, how will you be feeling?

2nd dec.

2008-12-02T20:51:00.003+08:00

really stressed up these days.
nothing seem easy-to-handle and to be solved.
so much to do, yet i had so little time.
i planned, but eventually, schedule got to keep changing with the last minute stuff.
i looked forward to the holidays.
and i so need a job.
maybe or may not be;
really if i do get the attachment, i will go.
i do not want to bother about money then;
i want to work out my own expenses.
i do not want to depend entirely on my parents;
who have to worry for me and support me at the same time.
i am stubborn, but what to do?
what's utmost important now is to make sure i get a job and get through common test ok.

please, may things be more smooth sailing.
i am just, so tired.
but obviously, problems will not stop coming.

11th Nov.

2008-11-11T19:51:00.004+08:00

tell me.
what is being fair and unfair?
what is care and don't care.
nobody understands what i mean.
now my own dad says i'm not generous enough and that i'm calling the kettle black.
but, who knows whether i am given a choice or not?
what i will want to do and not want to do.
it's all bullshit;
how people says. you have a choice to say yes or no.
from today on, i will do what i think is don't care.
fucked up life.

5th Nov.

2008-11-05T20:52:00.002+08:00

boy, i love you.

12th Oct.

2008-10-12T14:27:00.004+08:00

i'm super duper fed up.
i cannot stop thinking, until holidays come again and all my desires fulfilled.

school's gonna start tomorrow, again.
here comes the marathon, again.
argh.

i wann a job.
a suitable one.
in 2 weeks time, current tuitions will all stop, after their exams.
i need a break from tuition.
i wanna work in an ice cream shop, cookies shop.
some places where i would love.
any lobangs to intro?
i'm looking for the job now cause i cannot stand not working.

somehow with the stress from school and work, life will be more balance.
i cannot tolerate only stress from school and got nothing else to think of.
hmmm. difficult to explain.

i really hope for a better semester ahead of me.
earlier dismissal.
lesser projects.
better and firmer lecturers.
more free time.
more more more money.

29th sept.

2008-09-29T22:20:00.006+08:00

it's been a few days since i'm back.
too much to mention, too little time though.
i had a lot i wanna do;
bake, shopping, reading, cooking, loads more.
i'm left with about 2 weeks or so before the new term starts again.

it's too long a story to mention every single detail.
all in all, i have learnt more in thailand than what i have in my 18 years of life;
the need to be really thrifty.
the experiences i earned there is something i can never exchanged for.
no doubt, life was hard there. but i've only stayed there for 2 weeks, yet those people there are for forever.
i really treasure my life here, all that i've been given and to appreciate things more and hopefully it's for long.
not the 3 min mood again.

i wann to do a little shopping though.
date me peeps.
i'll make it as long as i'm free, probably monday, friday and weekends. =)

i had a haircut on saturday;
which turns out to be a DISASTER!
my fringe is the disaster!!
how long does it take for hair to grow, oh!
that's the first regret i had when i'm back home.
it's still nothing though; if compared to the times i had in chiangmai.

so well.
i'll wait; for it will grow.

now now,
more rest, more slp, more dates, more time.
more to go.

ilmL. x)

09 09 2008

2008-09-09T22:18:00.004+08:00

i'm leaving in less than 10hrs.
it's contradicting;
i look forward to coming back when i'm not yet there.
argh.
i'm just so gonna miss you, family and friends too.
i'll just keep thinking positively.
it's a mere 2 weeks, but it's the first 2 weeks.
i mean.
i'll just take a step at a time.
hmmm.

anyway, i watched boys over flowers with dearb today.
he can predict what comes next.
haha.
but the show was not too bad.
just that the characters are a little not the same.
hmm.

in a blink, please. :O

27th aug.

2008-08-27T20:49:00.002+08:00

CooL.

the activities are over.
2 days; in a blink.
all thanks to my girls.
their company makes things better and time flies more quickly.
had little conversation with the other peeps.
hmmm.
but it's not the same.
i'm quite glad when i saw CE today; a familiar face.

i make flower balloon. ^^
more to go.
yeahs.

love dearb.
work hard for the papers.
2 more to go.
i'm counting down too. =)

misses much..

25th aug.

2008-08-25T22:04:00.002+08:00

i have quite enjoy myself these days.
waking up naturally.
doing things i like; baking, watching lots and lots of dramas and tvs, dreaming.

TOMORROW!
argh.
really really hope for time to pass quickly.
i really cannot imagine how to get over the long 8 hours.
with another 3 hours of tuition after that.

please get me through.
8[

21st august.

2008-08-21T23:19:00.003+08:00

it's officially holidays.
but it still doesn't feel like one for me.
maybe it's due to the trip's pre-activities.

why can't we just go for the trip.
hmmm.

i just can't have enough time with my dearb.
time flies too quickly.
i need more time more time and more time, before the trip.

to catch up with peeps and sweeties.
to bake.
to shop.
to enjoy life with dearb.

"time is never enough, treasure while you have it. "

12th aug.

2008-08-12T22:57:00.003+08:00

watched money no enough 2 with family on the 9th aug.
movie was touching.
it's quite realistic too.
how the elderly can be treated by the ones they loved all their life.
hmmm.

anyway, just be contented to love those who loved you.

today, had porridge buffet with dear and he bought me a pair of shades.
lovely.
my favourite colour too. =)
we watched journey to the centre of the earth.
this movie is straightforward, quick, nice.
but the dinosaurs were ugly.
bought some stuff with dear then.

i have been bad on you for the past past few days and i sincerely wann to apologize for that.
I'M SORRY, LOVE.
i must have been blind, not to realise how hard you have tried to fulfil my desires. and i always behave so horribly.
i am so gonna miss you.
i really will. =S

"put yourself in others' shoes and think before grumbling like nobody's business."

27th july.

2008-07-27T12:51:00.002+08:00

silence is golden.

i choose not to mention it, once again.

sometimes, there are just no reasons why a person can exist this way or that.

you cannot change when fate wants you to meet those people.

perhaps, it's the growing up stage.

"Do not expect people to change for you, change yourself to accept those people instead."
By: Soon Jia Lu

25th july.

2008-07-25T20:14:00.003+08:00

watched The Dark Knight with dear just now.
a very nice movie.
definitely worth watching.
catch it and you'll know.

it's mood swing just now. really.
i don't want to face you with that and you slept all the way.

it's the mutual respect that lacks in the class.
i'm not a slave. not a secretary.
please don't take it as if i know you will know.
reply to show me some respect.
i'm a human being too.
i have feelings too.
if anything goes wrong again, i have to bear it once again.
now i know why.

"We are all something, but none of us are everything."
By: Blaise Pascal

23rd july..

2008-07-23T21:16:00.002+08:00

celebrated xinyi's birthday today.
had suki sushi.
well, some dishes were good.
had little chats here and there.
too bad too many projects and assignments are dueing.
and i promised mum to be home early today.
so all of us went home soon after the meal.

met dear earlier in the day.
cook pasta for him.
getting better and better i think.
haha.

i'm quite sick.
usual symptoms.
i wann to get well without medications.
i'll just drink more water and herbal tea if anyone cares to get it for me?
haha. =P

"We need not think alike to love alike."
By: Francis David

20th july.

2008-07-20T16:15:00.003+08:00

my legs ache. so much.
working yesterday was nice especially when dear's around.
but there's no chairs to sit. for at least 8 hours.
crowds came together or few or none.
hmmm.
i like working with him.
little burdens to carry, knowing i won't be left alone to die.
=D

argh.
school is terrible.
or i should say, the transferred fellow is horrible.
she's making things really bad around.
at the same time, she's like the one making the class more united.
ironically, there's some people who do not want the class to be united.
bad-mouthing, avoiding, throwing. all sorts.

more to go. =X

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
By: John F. Kennedy

10th july..

2008-07-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

I HAVE DONATED MY BLOOD yesterday.
great.
now i'm waiting for news to see if i can become a regular donor anot.
nice nice.
dear accompanied me to the blood bank.
and we went to kim gary after that. =)

celebrated linda's birthday in advance yesterday too.
nice time getting together and talking about things. =D

sometimes,
i just think some people sucks to the core.
i don't like people to treat those around me badly.
i mean, come on.
it's not as if you're that good but still, there's people willing to keep on giving their best for you.
just be grateful to treasure la.
blood boiling.

"It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it."

By : Albert Einstein

4th july.

2008-07-04T23:27:00.003+08:00

i am prepared to give my blood today.
but in the end, i got rejected again.
i am always so excited about it and asked mates to accompany me.
end up wendy is always the one donating and i'm the one watching when she is weak enough.
strange.
maybe one's health really do improve as the number of times you donate blood increase.
in fact, donating blood has got no disadvantages at all.
it can reduce chance of heart disease, increase metabolism rate and thus, help to slim down and at the same time, replenish new blood.

i will just have to look after myself properly these few days.
eat more stuff relating to iron.
not forgetting to mention, i couldn't donate blood this time round due to lack of iron, not only for veins.

i will be going to outram next wednesday with dear to try giving my blood the third time. hopefully, i can donate blood! x)

finally, i get to meet with dear today.
only have i realised how much i missed him after meeting.
it is really true that a few hours is better than nothing at all.
treasure treasure.
more love after quarrels please. =)

"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it, piece by piece -- by thought, choice, courage, and determination."

By: H. Jackson Brown

30th June.

2008-06-30T20:39:00.002+08:00

worked the weekends.
first time as promoter.
time past quite fast.
not too bad after all. =)

got to know people and new things.
tiring but worth it.

strange enough.

"I hold it true, whatever befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
It's better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

By: Alfred Tennyson

23rd June.

2008-06-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

indeed, i had a really lousy day.
suffering like i am so poor thing.
but i am ok now.
at least i laughed from the bottom of my heart, no more bitter feelings.
thanks xJ's boy.

no point blurting and grumbling all over again.
maybe i asked for too much.
maybe i presumed too much.
maybe i think too much.
after all, i am just me.

i got to work hard to get what i wann.
i might not get it at the first try, i might waste a few more tries doing it..
but at least i don't give up.
rather than to go by the back door to get all means.
that is not commendable.

don't compare.
life is better that way.
i might live longer if i close my eyes to certain things.

i am gonna start from today, leave a quote everytime i blog.
some really meaningful and very inspiring quotes, at least for me.
i think talking is real easy, looking or finding quotes are as simple.
but to really know the moral of the meaning and doing it, hmmmmm.
it takes some effort.
i will try.

i think, it is time for me to change for the better.
in terms of how i speak to anyone, how i treat people i don't like.
stop taking things for granted, or believe in luck anymore.
i will try to observe and understand why a person behaves or acts that way.

hmmm.
suddenly, i feel better.
much better at least.
in life, those are the stepping stones to make a person grows up.
the more you dare to challenge, the more you step.
the more you step, the more you grow.
the more you grow, the better you will be.

come on, be inspired. =D

quote of the day:
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

By: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

20th June.

2008-06-20T22:34:00.004+08:00

oops, sorry.
i totally forgot about the date which we are supposed to have today, PRB.
maybe we can meet for dinners after next week where all of us should be more free already. =)

projects are coming to an end soon, i think.
at least i finished what i have on hand first, to prepare for what might come next.
hmmmm. i am hot-tempered when it comes to tying the end knots.
i just want to finish things beautifully, as in, try to make as little mistakes as possible.
sorry team mates.
wanting things to end fast makes me impatient.
i want to make things look good, not only on the surface.
so no hard feelings yep. =)

with that, i think it has been making me all tensed up and dear starts to wonder why i always so sian sian de.
i'm not la.
probably just some school-reopening fear.

hmmmmm. don't worry too much alright.
good luck for the coming common test.
the same for all the others who are having their papers when school reopens.

speaking about that, the 3 weeks holidays ended only in a blink.
i just started having the holiday mood.
i have yet to bake enough.
i have yet shop enough.
argh.

17th june.

2008-06-17T21:36:00.003+08:00

went to swensens for lunch with dear today.
watched kung fu panda.
nice show.
funny at some parts.
there's always a moral behind every cartoon movies i think.

last friday, i went to cartel for dinner with dear.
some changes to the menu again.
the students' menu look appealing though.
the 10% service charge is back.
all the staff i have seen are new.
even the taste of the food changed.
hmmmmm...

simple things can be made complicated, if we choose to do so.
like the kung fu panda's master said,
the past is history, the future is mystery and today is a gift.
either you live everyday happily or you sulk to make people around you feel the same.

have you ever thought about losing your loved ones before?
you won't know what comes tomorrow.

what if, you have not yet fulfil what you promised?
what if, you have quarrelled and fought with your loved one the day before?
what if, you refused to apologise for the sake of your pride and gets no more chance?

don't wait for the consequences to come then regret.
by then, repenting a million time is pointless.

there must be a reason behind everything we do.
forgive after you finished grumbling.
forget after you forgave.
everyone should get a chance again, limited or not.
it all depends on how much effort and time you can put on that person.
still, you choose the way you wann to live your days.

it is easy to say, but not when it comes to doing, even for myself.
since i chose to love you, i will not wait for the time to come to regret.
be it who is right and who is wrong.
it always takes 2 hands to clap.

. . . . . . .

15th June.

2008-06-15T16:51:00.006+08:00

a pleasant time i had at kukup.

all i do is shop, eat, shop, eat..
although the sea produces pungent smell, i like the cooling wind that blows all the time.
relaxed, kampong life.
compared to the hectic life in singapore, i think the kids there lead a stress-free life.

no doubt, singapore is so much cleaner than kukup.
but, singapore is a realistic society.
everybody is taught in a way that they should study in order to get a job in future, and while working, upgrade to get a better post.
perhaps this is due to the lack of resources and land area.
almost everybody in kukup live in houses that they built.
the richer ones will have their houses built like palaces.
they grow vegetables, sun-tan the salted fish, make resorts or open shops to earn their living.
in fact, i don't see many employees.
most of the families would rather work harder themselves than to hire outside people to work for them.
it is hard work, but they enjoy the harvest later.

kids do not fear even though it's their first time speaking to us.
they can introduce all types of marine life they grow.
they will ride the bicycle or some older ones the scooter, and go everywhere.
here, kids are locked up or so pampered that they do not speak to anybody, they fussed about everything.

memorable experience.
very nice.
hopefully, there will be a next time. =)

13th june.

2008-06-13T22:12:00.005+08:00

visited blue cross today.
as in the past, those people there are still the same.
if you have been there before, there is no need to explain.
perhaps, the only difference could be that there are more new residents now..
omg.

i will be going to kukup tomorrow, in a part of Malaysia.
argh, don't miss me ok.
i will be back by evening, 15th june.

dear, please take good care of your health.
love yourself more when i'm not around.
i will not forget what i wanna do for you.
for you, you can choose if you wanna do it anot, it's alright ok.
don't forget to treasure the 40plus hours of freedom. . .
you might not get such chance anymore in future. =D

in short,
i love you.

10th june.

2008-06-10T21:21:00.009+08:00

i had great fun for PRB gathering yesterday.
all the laughter, souring and experiences we had among us.

fun shopping at vivo although all of us din managed to get a lot of what we wanted.
haha.
i think the breaded street sausage was nice. hmmm..
after which, we went to marina square.
some more shopping and off to hotpot culture..
actually, there wasn't really much choices for the buffet part?
but, the menu buffet was great. more to choose from. nicer too.
WE ordered a lot from there ya. =P
and three cheers for yan qiu! =D
she helped to finish the food so that there won't be wastage. but she don't eat all kinds of food.
for those that she don't, the rest of us got to finish them with scissors, paper, stone.
so well, we finished off with the ice cream which i don't think taste really like ice cream.. sort of, faked ones! although i had the most of it. haha.

no heels for shopping, it will kill.

anyway, we went to see see how yanling film after that.
she was disfiguring "teddy" or "terry" face.
that's what i heard..
but she did a good job! so real it seem.

cabbed home then.
it's ok huiying, yanling and shirley for not being able to come.
there are gonna be other chance. =)

dear. please. please. . .
sometimes, i don't wann to mention some things but i hope you will know.
that is ridiculous i understand.
but i dunno how to phrase them in such a way you will understand and i will not hurt anybody with the words.
i hope you do, i hope you know.

i love you.

6th June.

2008-06-06T21:43:00.004+08:00

watched sex and the city a few days back with Dear.

i am already 18, so i can watch legally. but for dear...
Yet. . . haha. it's only for you and me to know.

anyway,
the show was long but funny, and it's got a nice plot although there wasn't high climax.
it's a catch, cause it shows how friends can remain friends forever; how relationships should be maintained.

haha.

5th June.

2008-06-05T21:10:00.004+08:00

a week is almost over.
holidays are left with two more weeks. ONLY
i have managed to get more rest, although it's still not enough.

anyway, the baby is lovable. looks bigger than when he was born. chubby. in 6 more days, he's gonna be a month old. he is Vilmos Chua Jia Jun. strange and difficult-to-pronounce name, but we got the same "Jia". haha. =)

anyone got websites to intro where i can watch hong kong and taiwan dramas?
hmmm. i wanna finish watching the Wars of in-laws 2, but mysoju.com only upload till epi 15, when the full drama is till epi 20. i wanna watch the feng yun 2, but i couldn't find it.
goodness.

whatever it is, i still have projects to complete. hmmm.. i'm gonna visit blue cross on the 13th june. anybody wanna join in? hmmmmmmm. . .

quarrels keep relationship alive.
true, but i think there are many other ways to maintain my relationship.
why resort to quarrels when there is no need to?
=P
i like you.

21st may.

2008-05-21T20:09:00.004+08:00

today is the worst day i ever had in life.
i dunno why i was to live today.
every single thing is wrong.
i got to keep every shit to myself.
i can't talk to my parents, i don't wann to worry them.
and i can't even blog it out when it's my blog.

i know.
people out there are suffering more than me.
mine are just trivial matters.
but the feelings when everything came together.

what the fuck.

14th May..

2008-05-14T22:42:00.003+08:00

my auntie's baby. he's supposed to be out only on the 22nd may. but he was out on 12th may, 10.21am.
he's the little precious to the family. =)

went to the library with dear today. it was the first time this semester we went there to do some assignments which are gonna due in no time.

i'm not trying to procrastinate, but the due time makes no sense. it's not even taught yet, how am i supposed to do it? for some others, instructions are as if they will be known and understood without any need to make them clearly. i seemed to be so free when i'm not supposed to be with all the E-learning; it is nice, but the amount of work will be doubled. so what for E-learning leh. hmmm. just more time for me to push back the work i'm supposed to do and pile them up like a mountain.

i'm looking forward to the day the baby will be back. although all babies got the same face, but it's been so long since there was a baby in the house.

there is a need to save up. for a better future. .

sometimes, there are just things which i cannot accept. but there is simply nothing i can do to change anything and there's no way to change my mind. so well, i just got to adapt and get used to it slowly.

11th May..

2008-05-11T23:18:00.004+08:00

thinking back to once when daddy is making the new fan for me in the room..
i told him i wanted to tell him something, but i wanna go throw the rubbish first, so i asked him to wait. then, he mumbled something, which was loud enough for mummy, who was in my room as well, you can tell me anything, but not if you are gonna get marry now. mummy added: don't worry, ah girl won't get married until she is 30.

hmmmm. and all i did was smile.
should i be a good girl and fulfill her wish?
OMG..

nevertheless,
HAPPY MUMMYs' DAY! =)

8th May..

2008-05-08T22:11:00.004+08:00

hmmmmm. .

had the ceremony today.
i'm not looking forward to it.
because mummy is not attending, neither is mr tan.
but when i register, i realised that the school had sent a letter to JVS and invited mrs alfred to come.
in the end, she thought it was tomorrow and din managed to come at all.
it's ok though, save some trouble for her to travel around.
at least, dear managed to come despite ending his lessons late. =)

went for dinner at billy bombers with dear.
i liked the ice cream more..
honestly, i preferred the pork ribs from cartel.
i enjoyed the company most.

i don't ask for much la.
just be there when i need you.
think about me when you make decisions that will affect our future.

stay close.
i love you.

8th May.

2008-05-08T09:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes speaking too much hurts more.
that's why i choose to be silent and keep everything to myself.
when i finally blurted out all that i should or shouldn't, it becomes my fault for saying the wrong things.

what am i supposed to do.
work is piling.
no mood no mood no mood.

i need more time.
for every single thing.

6th May..

2008-05-06T21:10:00.002+08:00

hatred.

30th April.

2008-04-30T22:46:00.002+08:00

had a heartfelt talk with bro's best fren jux now.

this guy is matured, to talk sensible stuff, think for the best of all parties, and most importantly, knows what is best for him.
and for that, his family never had to worry about his studies, and always, he brings home good results.
he knows what's in his future, he knows when to talk about relationship and when to work hard.
the only flaw in him is, he said that DOTA is his life.

DOTA is my enemy.
i don't see what's so nice about it, but somehow, it's part and parcel of my loved and cared ones.

i don't ask for a lot.
i just hope my brother can be more sensible. to think about my parents when he does things. sometimes, he would rather make my parents angry than to let that girl wait for a while.

and i hope for the best for him for this mid-year exam.
if the results don't improve, i am going to do something.
I WILL DO SOMETHING!
at least if i do something, i won't feel guilty for not helping him at all at the end of the day.

to all who takes dota hard in life, please do not neglect what you shouldn't, or you are gonna regret one fine day, all by yourself. for you do not deserve sympathy at all!

so well. . .

28th April.

2008-04-28T22:09:00.002+08:00

away from blogs for a week or so.
not reading. no post.

i am getting used to school's hours.
the things i had to do and sorts.
there are still things which i cannot accept,
major or minor.
i cannot change the fact that it's happening, so i shall adapt slowly.

nobody remains the same after living so long.
there are bound to be changes.
like it or not,
you cannot change others, you can only accept what others expect you to accept.

at least that's what my mum told me..
since you cannot do anything to change it, then do nothing.
close two eyes and things will get better.

true or not?
i'm still wondering about it.
hmmmm..

i will work hard, strive hard for this semester.
less examinable modules = more more and more projects.

i will prepare myself.
be prepared to face anything, in time to come.

19th April.

2008-04-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

sometimes, things just don't go the way we want, no matter how hard we try to compromise to get it. it's of no use.

only if i can have everything the way i want it to be,
i wouldn't have been so lost already.

time is the limiting factor!
=\

18th April.

2008-04-18T23:18:00.004+08:00

got the sudden urge to post something.
hahas.

a week had past for school.
finally it's weekends.
i'm extremely tired even though there ain't much to do in school yet.
probably due to lessons at 9am almost everyday.

my dark circles are soooooo terrible.
i had to do something soon.
bx said it's somewhere near to my cheekbones already.

i'm glad we got closer, not the whole group though.
but at least, i speak out anything more freely and won't feel awkward for saying those things.
i think that's the way, isn't it?
you don't fear anything you say and do cause you know how your friends will react.

these modules i am taking don't seem to be having common test but there's still exams.
so well, more projects are definitely gonna to come.
and talking about projects means grouping.
oh well. . .

15th April..

2008-04-15T22:11:00.003+08:00

it's only been 2 days, but i am still ok with the lessons.
nothing much happens in class.
but outside classes, things are different. i earned money. xP
and today, if not for them, i dunno how long i will take to finish everything.

a friend in need is a friend indeed..
although these poly mates might be the newest to me,
they helped, nagged, scold, share and motivate whenever possible.
so, let's continue this way.
everything will turn out good as long as we don't give up.

thanks for the big help today..=)

13th April.

2008-04-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

school's gonna start tomorrow.
no point grumbling anymore cause it's got to come someday.

i just hope for a better semester.
better bondings among classmates.
it's the second year.
let bygones be bygones and let's all move on.
don't hold grudges and hurt each other ok.

i also hope that lessons can end early, or else i'm going to rush like nobody's business but still end up late. i don't wanna cab down, i am saving! have to constantly remind myself la. hahas.

smiles.
8 weeks to term break.

holidays!! =)

11th April..

2008-04-11T23:27:00.002+08:00

went out with sweeties today.

hahas.
to bugis.
to shop.
we had a nice time doing manicure or pedicure. let's skip the little parts! xP
but, we cannot always do those things to waste money ah. need to SAVE money!
taken neoprints too. it's the first time. . =)

after which, wendy rushed for tuition while bx and i went to jp for another small round of shopping. we managed to get a bag each in the end. nice nice nice.

a get-together once in a while is treasured.
no matter how long we can stay close, the important thing is to be contented now.
with whatever we have.
like wendy said, god is fair.
some things we get it good, some not so.

nevertheless, school is gonna start.
i'm glad we managed to catch up a little before school starts.

my photo album is half-way done.
i can't wait to show it to you.

love all.
no matter how busy life is, think about the happy times when you are down.
i'm always a phone away.

not contacting doesn't mean forgotten.
some things can never be forgotten as each person already had a stand in the heart.

=)

b'dae. . .

2008-04-09T23:11:00.002+08:00

today shall be the day i will never wann to forget, my whole life. =)

went to sentosa with dearest.
it was extremely enjoyable.
both the fun and the company.
dear made me laughed a lot and accommodate to all my "photos" request despite that he really hates taking photos.
a tourist attraction place, thus expenses today are high too.
a birthday could spend quite an amount of hard-earned money of dearest, heartache!
i'll treasure, i promise i promise.
a promise made shall be a promise kept.

i am gonna get a photo album and have all the nice nice photos inside.
the sweetest memory i'm gonna have,
anytime and any when.
i'll be able to look at it again.

chen shibing.
i have decided to be with you for the rest of my life.
let's get marry at the age of 28.
for now, we shall study hard, play hard, work hard.
i am not intending to let go anymore, so should you!

IMY. INY. IWY. ILY.
forever.

7th April..

2008-04-07T22:40:00.006+08:00

heh heh heh.

i had a really fabulous time with PRB today.

thanks darlings for spending the time, effort and presents too.
it's the sweet thought that really counts.

a few of us went to zoo this morning.
and we took so many many photos.
i like la.
hahas.
we spent quite a few hours there and seen all the animals.
some of them are really lovely.
but the pungent smell.
it's unbearable.
too bad i din get to see the elephants' big big faeces.

hmmm. we went for pool after that.
hahas.
don't play too well, if not, others will fear. .
wahaha.
anyway, i will like to play with shirley tan someday.

and we went to fish and co for a meal after that.
initially was streets, but changed our minds and walked out after that.
it's not very nice, but i din regret it.
fish and co has got marvellous service crews and the little surprise was not too bad.
just a little shy standing there la.
hahas.
at first, i was like.
what sia.
i must cooperate with them to get a 10% off the bill.
and all my best frens are like, okok. deal deal.
omg. if they asked me to act bimbo how?
i could only think of that coz yanling was acting that at the time.
so well. . .
luckily, it was just standing on the chair.
too bad xinyi can't join us for the dinner coz it's her dad's b'dae.

and and, i got to mention something!
after coming out from fish and co, i wanted to go to McDonalds to get bro a meal.
and all along, i knew there's something fishy between linda and shin miin.
and all the time when they wanna do something, i will turn to look at them and grin.
hahas. then they will keep their hands and look around.
girls, i know what you are trying to do coz shin miin spoke too loudly le.
she mentioned something like, later after she pay, we count 1 2 3 then take out, then say happy b'dae tgr ok?
linda will say, okok.
then etym when they count, i will look at them. then again they will act like nothing happen.
heehees.

but..
what matter most is, at least i get to take photos with every single one.
best frens stand by one another no matter how difficult things can be sometimes.
just a word of console can mean a thousand pictures too.

you people made my day.
one that is really memorable.

love love love the sweeties.

sorriees dearest i made you sooooo worried.
hahas.
i love you too.

=)

4th April.

2008-04-04T22:11:00.004+08:00

alright.
things are keeping on the right track once again.
hope this will last.

=)

i'm gonna continue with it.
and i've gotten a new assignment which i'm gonna start next tues.

hmmmm..
school's starting.
but somehow, i don't dread.
hahas.
probably cause i'm looking at the bright bright side.
instead of spending time to dread the re-opening of school,
why not enjoy now and welcome school the week after next and hope for the next holidays to come again?

xD

2nd April.

2008-04-02T23:19:00.002+08:00

whatever happened today.
it's totally the opposite of what i expected.

how come?
should i continue?

i'm tired already.
no matter how hard i try. .
my patience will be used up soon.
maybe it's time to move on.

haiss.

2nd April.

2008-04-02T16:20:00.003+08:00

Ooohooo.

it's April already. school's gonna start in due time.
hmmmm ..
i'm easily tired these days.
no matter how much i slp.
it's not enough.
often having headaches and blurred sights.
something's so wrong.

well,
i went out yesterday.
with hy, and two other friends.
it was nice.
although the topics are always the same. .
at least we took neoprints before going off.
they are memories to be kept.
lovely memories.

i'm not myself again.
maybe because i think too much.
and worry the unnecessary.

anyway, i'm gonna finish watching my girl soon.
it's nice.
very very nice.
telling lies ain't good, but sometimes,
they are remedies for people to live on.

everything has two sides.
it's jux how you look at it.
but, i always look at the negative side.
for i fear to fall badly from positive hopes. . .

30th March.

2008-03-30T00:15:00.002+08:00

went shopping with dearest today.
it was sooooo nice, and it's been a while since we went shopping.
i might be tired and my heels might be killing my legs...
but nothing can be compared to how much i wanna be with you.

hmmmm. tuition. i'm gonna have tuition the whole of next week. in the evenings though. going out in the mornings. that's how the last second week of holidays will be.

not too bad i hope.

28th March.

2008-03-28T21:00:00.004+08:00

hmmm.

school's gonna start real soon.
another hectic semester.
but still, i will manage my time. .
between school and tuition.
not forgetting my dearest.

still, i wanna go shopping.
it's not enough for this holiday.
i haven bought anything much yet.
hmmmmmmm..

i wanna take neoprints leh..

PRB is loved.
dear too. =)

23rd March.

2008-03-23T23:18:00.003+08:00

hmmm mmm..

finally.
i'm able to fulfil my promise.

i have the best daddy and mummy.
hahas.
they always say,
whatever we do to you, we hope you'll accept it be'coz we're doing the best for you, but. what's most important is, you are happy with it.

so well.
i told dad and mum about sb.
not just. but on the saturday after i got my results.
so from then on,
dad always think of something to tell me about what is expected of my bf.
he must not smoke.
he cannot ride bike. same for me too.
he must have the responsibilities to take care of you.
he must dote on you like i do.
other than that,
do what you like.
as long as you are happy, then i'll be happy.

my daddy loves me. my mummy too.
she often says, don't marry too early.
you have a lifetime to be together.
settle down in career before marrying.

all they've said are true, ain't it.
they always wann the best for me la.
and i'm glad sb didn't mind dad's initial harsh words.

i'm able to be honest with my words now.
no more white lies.

but still, i will do my best in my studies.

anyway.
all the best for your interview tomorrow honey.
no matter how the outcome will be,
i'm there for you.
always.
i love you.

20th March.

2008-03-20T22:36:00.003+08:00

i've just taken a look at the time table.
and i seriously have a lot of objections.
omg.

practically starting at 9am every day and ending at 4 or 5pm.
what is that.
hopefully some changes can be done.
and i seriously hope that lecturers don't bear grudges and revenge on my grades, just be'coz i back out for the trip.
whatever it is, change it! x(

hmmm.
i've been baking these few days.
waiting for time to pass.
styms, it's too fast
but styms, it never seems to end.

that's how ironic life can be.
haiss.

16th March.

2008-03-16T00:27:00.004+08:00

what more can i ask from my boyfriend.

there is nothing in the world that will ever replace him,
from my heart.

sometimes,
certain things are hard to explain.
feelings are hard to describe.

the longer i know you,
the more i love you.

if i'm the princess then you will be my prince.
forever and ever.

i will take care of myself.
i will like to take care of you too.
although i will not be by your side often, i will do my best for you.

no matter what happen,
if we're meant to be,
we will always be together.
obstacles are nothing. .

i love you.

15th March.

2008-03-15T20:58:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i will wonder why.

it's not a complicated thing,
really.
but it's been made real complicated.

for?

i'm not too sure myself.
actually. . .
i can take it simply.
but i will still think.

i know that as long as i'm firm and conscious of what i'm doing,
then nothing else will matter.

14th March.

2008-03-14T21:48:00.002+08:00

i love you.
all we need is more trust and telepathy.
hahas.

gotten back my results.
it's time for me to fulfil my promise to you.
but but but,
i need some time alright.

you're mine and i'm yours.
now and forever.

sb, sb and sb only.
=)

10th March.

2008-03-10T16:23:00.004+08:00

鬥牛·要不要

it's a must must watch drama.
17 episodes in all.
it's too nice to be missed.

i will get the dvds or vcds.
and watch it again.
coz it's blurred at some scenes.

Juno.

it's another movie which i have watched online.
real-life to me.
although the story line is simple, it's the relation revolving around that makes it marvelous.
i think it does happen around la.
jux that i haven met before yet.
catch it people.
you will not regret watching it.

hmmm.

love is a beautiful thing.
yet, so fragile.
you can never force it to happen.
coz it comes naturally.
whether you are ready or not.

compromise.
i will try.
i love you.

7th March.

2008-03-07T12:20:00.003+08:00

Looking back.
i realised how foolish i have been in the past.
all that's been happening on and off.

why do i have to take those things so seriously?
and posted everything.
omg.

holidays.
i need.
but that's not the way i had wanted to spend them.
every moment is important.

i'm lost.

2008-03-06T12:12:00.008+08:00

Oh dear. came across this when i was reading yq's blog and gave it a try.
i will say it's very true la.
hahas.

try it people.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

5th March.

2008-03-05T22:43:00.003+08:00

don't get my blood boiling then ask me to chill.
bloody.

it's too late.
when i try to be nice.
just see my effort.
if you can't,
then shut.

my parents only wann the best for me.
what's wrong with that?
it wouldn't be possible for them to harm me.
never at all.

bullshit.

i feel it. it's coming again.

4th March.

2008-03-04T22:14:00.003+08:00

i'm back. without going to the chalet. =[

i cannot go anywhere when i feel guilty.
i aso don't wann to go anywhere if i cannot get daddy's trust.

therefore, i have decided to back out at the last minute. =X

sorriees wendy and pc. i wasted your effort to prepare the stuff and ended up not going. anyway, all the best pc, for your days in army.

sorriees bx and ce. i put areoplane at that last minute.
and i'm glad you guys cared instead of reprimanding me.

sorriees dear. for making you bring the stuff and ended up not going to the chalet with you. i din mean to.

SORRIEES!

Pocky is one of my favourites. light and portable. i can carry it around. it can keep tears back too. hoho. ho.

4th March.

2008-03-04T14:24:00.003+08:00

a little reflection. . .

the more you know about some things.
the more solid you feel about your bliss or misery.

ups and downs in life.
everyone should have a taste of it.

"styms, you just dunno how insignificant your problems are."
that's what hy told me before.
hahas.

anyway. it's true la.
think about it and compare with what you've heard or seen.

i am still glad with my life la.
except for the little little upsets here and there. xP

i appreciate things people have done for me.
good ones especially.
for the bad ones, it's just another lesson learnt.
the more i learn, the better i get.

sb = the best.

29th Feb.

2008-02-29T22:32:00.003+08:00

today was supposed to be a special day, wasn't it?
once in 4years and i had to go through that?
wth.

i had a wonderful time before tuition. wanted to go back to school in the morning but i din have all the documents yet. instead, i watched fools gold with dear. the show was marvelous. thrilling. although boring in little parts with all the talking la.

met up with prb afterwards. went to Botak Jones. the food was delicious la. hahas. thanks to yl's recommendation. nice one! too bad yq, linda and sm weren't there. pool after the meal. alright. the urge for pool is there once again. xD.

and then, tuition! aaarrrghhhhhh. it's shitty lorx. for a few times already, i had to be stuck between the kids and their mum. it's like, their mum is always complaining that the kids are not doing this, not doing that. on the other hand, the kids won't do the work. procrastinate. talking. procrastinate. talking. procrastinate. talking.
today was the most horrible. everything came together. i was supposed to have tuition with the girl. i already had have a hard time to get the girl to do her compo coz she showed me attitude and ignored anything i told her, then her mum came to complain about the kids' school. then then, that boy came to complain about his mum asking him to do his work, asking him to do loads of filing, bad-mouthing his mum.

what is that?
what am i supposed to do?
i don't side anyone. but now, just because i get paid every month, i got to please the queen, the prince and princess?

come on. i'm just a part-time tuition teacher.
tuition is not about earning easy-money la.
it's about commitment. hard-work and effort.
it's about to step over the limit.
i have been tolerating these nonsense for quite a while.
kids these days really LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to talk.

i'm gonna quit, real soon.

28th Feb.

2008-02-28T22:21:00.005+08:00

what we've been through these few days are more than enough to prove that we're meant for each other.

but. . .
hmmm mmm.
i think we need something more to prove it.

hohoho. :D

i wanna watch movies la.

27th Feb.

2008-02-27T15:10:00.002+08:00

it's bro's birthday today. =)
hope he will study harder this year.
hmmmm. . .
Happy B'dae to bro.

heard from yijie about things that had happened in the chalet.
it was kind of ridiculous.
i thought. i thought. i thought.
pissed when i heard those.
i won't side anyone.
hearing from a party alone might not helped to know everything.
but, from what i know about the clique.
i believed what i was told.
some words should never be mentioned.
or you will regret like hell.
tearing doesn't mean a thing.
you don't win when you cry.
reasons and logics do.

anyway. i'm not supposed to talk about it anymore.
so well. . .

C-O-N-T-R-O-L. . .

26th Feb.

2008-02-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

maybe that's how life is supposed to be??

styms, you are on top of the world.
everything seems to be going your way.

whereas styms. .
nothing seems to be right, no matter how you try to make it right.

hmmm. . .
just be glad with what you're given.
live life as if you will never get a better one.

i'm glad i went for the class chalet.
i know the clique better now.
it was fun but too bad i din get to meet everyone.
it's okiee cause we will still get to meet huh. =)

and, it's real nice to spend the night with you.
another memorable experience.
just for you and me.
Te amo.

=D

24th Feb.

2008-02-24T12:21:00.003+08:00

Only if Dramas really happen in my life.

dramas are dramas.
far from realistic.
but to me,
dramas are means to prove that
true love still exists in the world.

a scar will never heal.
tears will never flow back.
words mentioned can never be taken back.

styms, sorriees means nothing.
get off my back.

23rd Feb.

2008-02-23T19:00:00.003+08:00

Death Note spins off: L change the world.

this movie is nice. really. L is simply awesome. the plot might be simple but nice parts along the way. i especially like the ending part where Near was brought to the home where kids are taught, just like L. i dunno how to describe la. i just think this show is worth watching, with the cast and all.

if we have to part that way, i'll rather we don't meet.
it's like a pain, without its painkillers, and it will never stop hurting.
i have to start all over again.

stop mentioning that phrase again. i hate those words.
and i dunno how long more i can swallow those words as if they sounded nice.

no doubt, it's still a bliss to have you again.

21st Feb.

2008-02-21T22:27:00.006+08:00

how nice today was.

your company was great. misses the time we shared.
growing up doesn't mean losing touch with anyone.

watched jumper today. the show was alright. nice. i especially like the part when that baddie was left stranded at the hill? cliff? whatever you called it la. and and, i liked the ge-fen-duo(gliffon)? if i din rmbed wrongly la. hahas. but the ending to his part wasn't up to expectation. how can he be left there, where electricity is present. how is he to teleport?? hmm. went to vivo city to shop after my tuition. well. i only bought a brush. hopefully it will help my hair grows faster la. while hy managed to get a zara top.

well. i wanna watch the following movies! ::
- PS I Love You
- ~~Jumper~~
- Juno
- The Old Garden
- Kung Fu Dunk
- ~~CJ 7~~
- Ah Long Ptd Ltd
- Away From Her
- 27 Dresses
- ~~Death Note: L change the world~~
- Becoming Jane
- The Leap Years

hmm. that's about all for the time being. and not forgetting. i wanna watch the dramas. dou niu yao bu yao. which dear asked me not to watch first. coz he will get me the full episode.

also. . .
i wanna work. shop. exercise(gyms!).

only if money can drop from the sky.
only if i know how to teleport when i'm 5.
then dear will not have to work.
i can share my all the money i got with my dear, family and deariie frens.
hohoho.

Oh Come On. . .
it's okiee to dream only right?
xP

21st Feb.

2008-02-21T22:27:00.002+08:00

how nice today was.

your company was great. misses the time we shared.
growing up doesn't mean losing touch with anyone.

watched jumper today. the show was alright. nice. i especially like the part when that baddie was left stranded at the hill? cliff? whatever you called it la. and and, i liked the ge-fen-duo(gliffon)? if i din rmbed wrongly la. hahas. but the ending to his part wasn't up to expectation. how can he be left there, where electricity is present. how is he to teleport?? hmm. went to vivo city to shop after my tuition. well. i only bought a brush. hopefully it will help my hair grows faster la. while hy managed to get a zara top.

well. i wanna watch the following movies! ::
- PS I Love You
- ~~Jumper~~
- Juno
- The Old Garden
- Kung Fu Dunk
- ~~CJ 7~~
- Ah Long Ptd Ltd
- Away From Her
- 27 Dresses
- Death Note: L change the world
- Becoming Jane

hmm. that's about all for the time being. and not forgetting. i wanna watch the dramas. dou niu yao bu yao. which dear asked me not to watch first. coz he will get me the full episode.

also. . .
i wanna work. shop. exercise(gyms!).

only if money can drop from the sky.
only if i know how to teleport when i'm 5.
then dear will not have to work.
i can share my all the money i got with my dear, family and deariie frens.
hohoho.

it's okiee to dream la. xP

20th Feb.

2008-02-20T21:08:00.002+08:00

alright. since there's no way to turn back the clock, i shall find ways to make the mistake better.

i have researched from the internet and find out that vitamin E and proteins help hair grows much faster than normal.
and a normal person's hair will grow up to 1-inch each month. which is about 2.5cm.

so well.

maybe i should just earn more money and go for an extension.

coz it's omg.

really really really short.

deariies. next time when we meet for a meal. get me to eat more green vegs, tofu and soya bean.

hohoho. tomorrow's the last day! xP

19th Feb.

2008-02-19T22:20:00.003+08:00

arrghhh.

i've made a mistake again.

a mistake i once told myself never to make but made again.
what a failure.

17th feb.

2008-02-17T16:11:00.001+08:00

easily pampered doesn't mean easy-to-please.
easily pleased doesn't mean getting to be pampered.

all in all. . .
it's just gonna take
two hands to clap.
two hearts to work things out.
one person to suffer more.

don't be envy of what others have. coz they might not have what you have eventually.
nothing in the world is same for anyone.
good or bad.
best or worst.

. . .

17th feb.

2008-02-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

What Jia Lu Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

12th Feb.

2008-02-12T22:20:00.001+08:00

hmmm.

today was the drawing paper.
it was ...phew?!?!
i managed to complete the drawings after numerous times of trying.
still, there are some mistakes here and there.
i have tried my best though. i won't regret the outcome i hope!!!

met dear after that.
we went to vivo for a walk. long enough to kill our legs though.
we watched cj7. it was real nice. i like that dog.
the best part of the show i thought was the acting of that kid, along with the dog.

hmmmm. .
it's been a while since i met dear and i missed him so much so that even when we've met, i am still thinking of him. and wondering why we only met today.
i realised how much i want him to hold me for ever.
basically, it's beyond words to describe that feeling.

i have been so terrible these few days.
i only felt that things have been going on unfairly for me.
i thought he only knows how to get through things with those words. .
i thought he will not remember what i've mentioned before.
but actually, that's not the way. he thinks. he plans. he shows, only to me.
i thought. i thought. i should have known.

i'm sorriees..
for being so hostile towards you recently.
i'm not dao la. i jux don't know what you are thinking about and how i can react.
at least, there's something i'm sure of.
you are there, most of the time, to bear with my irritable attitude.

tell me. show me.
whenever i have go over the limit.
i wann to work things out with you.

i love you.

11th Feb.

2008-02-11T18:26:00.000+08:00

人就是这样。

越得不到的东西越要得到。

有些人会用一辈子去珍惜得来不易的东西。
有些人会把得来不易的东西当战利品。
有些人会用一辈子守护得不到的东西。
有些人会因得不到而放弃。

人啊。。。

time to buck up.

9th Feb.

2008-02-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

a lesson to learn.

never be too greedy to remain at the peak forever. it's not gonna happen. perhaps one in a million. so well. . .

when you have enough, just let go and let the others take over. don't be overly stubborn until you lost everything then you will realise it's too late. too late to regret. for what's done cannot be undone.

let today be a good lesson learnt and never do that again.

good days always passes in a blink. tomorrow, i will have to start. moving on the final lap now. don't stop here darling.

i miss so many people. after i'm done with the serious stuff, i will date all of them. wait for me.

=)

4th Feb.

2008-02-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

thanks deariies for the shopping trip today.
it was splendid.

i had such a good time. and they din give up on me till the very last shop. hahas. i wanted a red dress. and we searched the whole marina square but to no avail. so, we went on to city link for a walk. with no more hopes, maybe a little little bit left and no targets to reach. I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET A RED DRESS!!!!
wahahaha.. the feeling was shiok. though i have never thought i'll get that dress. but the shop person was so nice. she sew that dress immediately for me. coz it's too big at the back. x)

after which, we went to cartel for dinner. nice pics taken here and there. hahas. the pics are nice okiee.

these girls never fails to brighten my mood. i will always be able to enjoy myself with them. no need to fear. no need to get pissed. and we always share too. hahas. this implies you too yeah.

smiles and giggles. as if it's nobody's business. =)

1st Feb.

2008-02-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

your smile never fails to cheer me up.
a meet is more than anything i could ask.

=)

31st Jan.

2008-01-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

bugging with projects and stuff.

tired.

my eyes keep blinking. it cannot open for long and i'm straining it with the lens.
oh well.

deary.
千言万语，一切竟在不言中。
I Love You.

28th Jan.

2008-01-28T19:21:00.000+08:00

freaking monday.

i'm okiee i'm okiee people.
really.
believe me that i can take good care of myself.
BX and CE had been real nice.. thanks, and sorriees for keeping mute all the time.
i'm not used to telling people everything as if i've been ill-treated or what.
i don't wish to tarnish the good image too.
stop falling sick, Wendy.
take care. =]

anyway, i saw an ex-classmate today.
she din see me though.
she was with his boii.
basically, the guy was rather giant next to her.
but they din mind it at all.
from the way i have seen them,
glancing at each other.
cuddling each other.
it's jux seem so perfect.

LOOK,
i'm not trying to compare anything here.
i won't go around telling people how complicated some things can be.
or rather, i prefer sharing people's happy life.
BX, don't fear i will feel hurt when you share. i feel happy for you too.
PC mentioned to Wendy that i have a nice voice. and i remembered until now. hahas.
that's what i mean styms, a little something helps.

all i have to say is, i have made friends in poly.
who really cared for me.
i'm okiee people.
thanks for staying close.

i'm okiee dear.
let's get over with this soon. =)

24th Jan.

2008-01-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

today was a "voice-ful" day.. omg..

had my CATS presentation, and it's finished. you wouldn't know how glad i am to be over with this thingy.. i was so happy about it..

but..
i am not please with my brother's results at all.
it was disappointing.
but i don't blame him, nor do i scold him.
for i din try my best to help him during that crucial period too.
and i know he had done his best.
he's improved so much, although it's still not enough. . .

but..
at least i tried to help him NOW.
hopefully,
it's not too late for him to wake up.
i will scold whoever jokes about his results!
i promised.
that's the least i can do now.
i have been talking to bro since he came home from 5plus.
after which, i talked to dad and mum till 8plus.
non-stop, getting louder and louder somemore.

so well..
drinking plenty of water now.
hopefully, it will help.
if not, =X

and and, i wonder why i'm fancy posting now.
the time is simply not too right huh.
i have 2 tests tml, one using the laptop and the other oral test.
i wann to score for both. badly.
but, i can't get myself to study at all.
i am simply moodless over with my brother's thingy.
i cannot feel nothing be'coz he's my one and only brother.

hmmmmmm..

and, you are the one and only sweet in my heart.
there are ups and downs almost everyday.
thankfully, it don't last.
i do feel stronger after last night.
i will heel your words.

promises!

ILY =)

23rd Jan..

2008-01-23T17:54:00.001+08:00

no. i don't understand. why is everyone so worked up over a small thing. can't a small class work together? settle the whole thing together happily.. no point all showing a black black face and finish off with this thing, then? how to enjoy the aftermath? still say wann bond. . . it's impossible to treat as if nothing has happened too de right?

hmmmm...

this is terrible..

compromise, compromise, compromise...

this has got to be another lesson to learn.

too many things are happening..
to me..
around me.. :[

22nd Jan.

2008-01-22T11:21:00.000+08:00

i love this song in my playlist..

simply brightening up my mood in no time...

styms, a little something will help.

21st Jan.

2008-01-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

what's the point of trying when you know it's not gonna work..

again, and again.. it's never ending...

19th Jan.

2008-01-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

it's been a week.. and here i am..

the past week haven't been easy.. but it passes quite quickly la..

i have been reading blogs but not posting mine coz i've been really tired,
and life is basically revolving around school, work, assignments, projects, tuition..

and of course, my dear. i'm glad i got to meet you more this week.. i needed the time with you, even if it's only for a short while.. you are the precious catalyst.. i don't need sweet words from you, jux words from your heart makes my day.

bx said we shouldn't judge guys in the way we feel or during the times we argued, but look.. and i've learnt to look at different sides of a guy.. it's true that styms, what i rmb and grumble about are always the bad stuff, never rmbing the good ones... sorriees, deary!

things can be as simple as it looks.. it's jux the angle you take when you look at it..

don't try to compare unnecessary stuff and make your life real miserable. Just be contented with your life. everyone's got their own bad times. so well..

and thankfully, i have a good CATS lecturer la.. don't see him smiles all the time as if he doesn't care, he bothered to print the decision matrix for me.. save me some time from copying.. soon hua dong, change your opinion of Mr Lai Tai Lai.. he's hardworking de..

the old men, my EL TECH and DRAWING teacher.. they looked soooo 慈祥.. i simply cnt bear to talk back to them... they are such lovely teachers.. despite being old, they still try their best to impart their knowledge to us..

LEARN WELL, ppL!

there are small disputes abt projects here and there.. of course, time is the factor agn.. as the due date gets nearer, the more stress everyone will feel.. and start pin-pointing who din do ath, who's done the most.. who did or did not bother to make the effort..

IF you can spend some time to think about what to do for the project instead of wasting the time to think about how much you or the other members have done, i think the project will have been completed around this time.. don't blame others for not taking the first move.. ASK yourself, why didn't you make the effort to start the ball rolling?

speaking about this makes my blood boil.. CATS really really is OMG..

okiee, enough abt those!

I am looking forward to the holidays.. really looking forward!

stay healthy ppL!
and never forgetting you, chen shibing..
take really really proper care of yourself!

Posted on 19th Jan.

12th January...

2008-01-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION..

- be more healthy..
- keep up with planned schedule..
- earn more money..
- slim down..
- good GPA..
- be able to bake better stuff..

and definitely, have more time with him..

May all stay healthy and cheerful always.. =)

Posted on 12th Jan.

11th January..

2008-01-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

have been sick since yesterday.. seen a doctor today.. he mentioned that i can go without food these few days, until my stomach is well.. i can jux drink coke with salt.. hmmm... i told my parents about it but they said, don't ever do what the doctor said..

pains and sore all over the body.. fever.. gastritis problem..

i am so problematic la.. i don't like to be sick.. painful and i cnt finish my food.. it's a waste.. and mum will show her black face.. =\

i have to hold on though..
exams are coming..
tuitions have to go on..
projects and assignments..

poLy Life ain't easy after all..

and i missed the chance of going out with you today..
how can!! =|

Posted on 11th Jan.

8th January..

2008-01-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

oh.. i'm tired.. have been waking up early for school these 2 days..
but..
i'm hanging on there.. a few more weeks and it's over.. =)

thanks dear for making the effort..
i love you much..

Posted on 8th Jan.

7th January...

2008-01-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

okiee.. i've gotten back my results.. all of them.. but it wasn't really satisfying..

i need no comments, coz i think everyone got their own targets to reach..

Engineering Drawing
target: 72..
gotten: 65..

EG2
target: 90..
gotten: 87..

FQM
target: 85..
gotten: 90..

Eng. Mech
target: 100..
gotten: 94..

okiee.. that's about it.. i need to work hard now.. i am most disappointed with my drawing.. but i will try my best for the coming exams.. which is the week straight after CHINESE NEW YEAR.. oh my oh my...

coming up with resolution soon.. i have to.. probably tml.. =)

and good luck for ppl whose exams are round the corner.. strive on!

Posted on 7th Jan.

6th January...

2008-01-06T18:06:00.001+08:00

umm umm umm..

went to the library with dear today.. done some work with him.. i liked being with him.. =)

gonna get back all my results tml.. gonna post my NEW YEAR resolution soon.. hahas..

don't let me down, results..

Posted on 6th Jan.

4th January..

2008-01-05T00:31:00.000+08:00

today was okiee.. but i din get back any papers.. so well, monday will be the day.. anyway, school was okiee.. not too heavy.. had a lab quiz instead of lab session, ended early and went to dhoby ghaut.. had ri ben chun.. it was alright la.. hahas.. i prefer the company much much more..

going shopping with mummy tml, i expect sth..

x)

i'm not gonna let loose anymore..

Posted on 4th Jan.

3rd January...

2008-01-03T21:16:00.000+08:00

had aerobics in the morning.. no need to run today.. coz it was drizzling.. how nice.. but CATS is hateful.. what can you think abt global warming? goodness.. i had a pretty hard time.. but still, the group managed to finish eth fast.. =)

and home after which.. went out to meet XY and HY for AVP2 at 5plus.. the movie is worth-watching.. it's not scary.. but disgusting.. yep.. as both the aliens and the predator are black, there are some parts which might not be seen clearly la.. coz it was pretty dark.. do watch the movie if you have the chance.. =P

i miss you! take care please! don't get hurt anymore.. slp early at night then you can pay full attn to the things going on around you.. okiee?

Posted on 3rd Jan.