today is the worst day i ever had in life.
i dunno why i was to live today.
every single thing is wrong.
i got to keep every shit to myself.
i can't talk to my parents, i don't wann to worry them.
and i can't even blog it out when it's my blog.

i know.
people out there are suffering more than me.
mine are just trivial matters.
but the feelings when everything came together.

what the fuck.

my auntie's baby. he's supposed to be out only on the 22nd may. but he was out on 12th may, 10.21am.
he's the little precious to the family. =)

went to the library with dear today. it was the first time this semester we went there to do some assignments which are gonna due in no time.

i'm not trying to procrastinate, but the due time makes no sense. it's not even taught yet, how am i supposed to do it? for some others, instructions are as if they will be known and understood without any need to make them clearly. i seemed to be so free when i'm not supposed to be with all the E-learning; it is nice, but the amount of work will be doubled. so what for E-learning leh. hmmm. just more time for me to push back the work i'm supposed to do and pile them up like a mountain.

i'm looking forward to the day the baby will be back. although all babies got the same face, but it's been so long since there was a baby in the house.

there is a need to save up. for a better future. .

sometimes, there are just things which i cannot accept. but there is simply nothing i can do to change anything and there's no way to change my mind. so well, i just got to adapt and get used to it slowly.

thinking back to once when daddy is making the new fan for me in the room..
i told him i wanted to tell him something, but i wanna go throw the rubbish first, so i asked him to wait. then, he mumbled something, which was loud enough for mummy, who was in my room as well, you can tell me anything, but not if you are gonna get marry now. mummy added: don't worry, ah girl won't get married until she is 30.


hmmmm. and all i did was smile.
should i be a good girl and fulfill her wish?
OMG..

nevertheless,
HAPPY MUMMYs' DAY! =)

hmmmmm. .

had the ceremony today.
i'm not looking forward to it.
because mummy is not attending, neither is mr tan.
but when i register, i realised that the school had sent a letter to JVS and invited mrs alfred to come.
in the end, she thought it was tomorrow and din managed to come at all.
it's ok though, save some trouble for her to travel around.
at least, dear managed to come despite ending his lessons late. =)

went for dinner at billy bombers with dear.
i liked the ice cream more..
honestly, i preferred the pork ribs from cartel.
i enjoyed the company most.

i don't ask for much la.
just be there when i need you.
think about me when you make decisions that will affect our future.

stay close.
i love you.

sometimes speaking too much hurts more.
that's why i choose to be silent and keep everything to myself.
when i finally blurted out all that i should or shouldn't, it becomes my fault for saying the wrong things.

what am i supposed to do.
work is piling.
no mood no mood no mood.

i need more time.
for every single thing.

hatred.